Shattered Hearts

To tell apart a heart

And any piece of glass around

Is that when the former breaks

It doesn’t even make a sound

I think all the crumbling relations I see around me made me come up with those lines. I guess it’s the phase of life when most of us have come to a point where everyone is getting so far from the other; is what causing this mass separation effect. Recently I have come across a number of cases where people are disgusted with what their personal lives have been turned into and are so desperate that instead of getting things sorted, most of them just want all of it to end. It’s like all the flavor and spice that once filled their lives got lost somewhere and all that remains is dry, sordid and unsavory issues which has brought them as a couple to a dead end. It’s the turning point of life where the question is not if one can go back or forth it’s that they don’t want to go anywhere but apart and it pains me to see all this. For most of these are not some fortnight Romeo and Juliet, hopping from one relationship to another, they are sincere people who had a very clear idea of where they are going to take their lives to and they made no mistakes in choosing their steps to align with their dreams. Then what made everything go so wrong?

I am just too distressed of how my life has shaping out to do a research on the lives of others. Insomnia is eating my brain out and if I do get a wink of sleep, I wake up each time so dead and frustrated that I am more than happy not to sleep at all. Work is a necessary liability hence attending office is a routine which must not be broken. On such day in office, a small team event was organised for us and we were playing along when a guy friend of mine, who was taking an active part in the event received a call. He went outside to attend to it but didn’t return and as teams do; we quickly rearranged ourselves so that his presence was not felt till the whole thing ended. Next day, when I was with the same friend and were discussing about our future and which course of action we should take, the conversation drifted to women and how all the women in our lives tend to get so demanding of us (no offense but sometimes, during our not-that-jolly state of mind we do think like that). Grasping the opportunity and situation, I just burst up ranting about how miserable my personal life had become and how much I would like to get things straight if I knew how. I knew he was having troubles in making his mother and girlfriend to agree with each other (for guys this is the biggest problem we face our entire life) and finally it all ended when his mother gave the ultimate threat that he will have to choose between his family and his girlfriend and if he chooses the later, he will have to sever all relations with the former. He did as we all are expected to do, he told the poor girl how helpless he was and she reacted as she was expected to by not accepting it. I don’t want to negate the opinion of elders for there are things visible only to their experienced eyes, but after this I can sense a storm brewing inside him revolting the very rules that he has abided by for so long and still does.

He was there, sitting calm and listening to me. And it was then as if his bottled emotions bubbled up and he told me that the call yesterday was from his girlfriend whom he has not been talking to since two months (it’s not a very long time but after talking on a daily basis for two years, these two months does feel like a lifetime). She had called to inform him that she was getting engaged to a doctor next week and after that he should never try to call her. In fact she will change her contact number even thought she is getting married in the very same city. My friend assured her that she can be at peace as he will never attempt anything such and for this she doesn’t to change her contact number. Her reply to this took my breath away. She retorted that she was not afraid that he might call her and it might cause a row with her in-laws rather she was concerned that since he has her number, she will be waiting for his call every moment of every day even after knowing that he would never call as she had forbidden him to. Hearing this made all my problems in life so puny and hollow. I knew he was in much more pain than I could have imagined but I found myself totally incapable to consoling him, in fact for a moment I envied him for having to spend some time with someone whose feelings for him were so pure.

Time brought us back to our real lives as there was duty calling two floors below. We both told each other that let life take its course, maybe things with sort out or else the dust of time will fill these wounds and make them less painful, but till then we have to choice but to collect pieces of our shattered heart and repair them, for maybe we might need it again.